Monday, October 25, 2010

Team Kanye

Thesis: Taylor Swift makes my ears bleed.

This isn’t completely random, as the World Wide Web and various (annoying) Target commercials have informed me that her new album comes out today (gag). Not to mention that my office at work is adjacent to the janitor’s closet and everytime it’s opened, some country music station is blasting—which is almost always playing Taylor Swift. Or something that sounds like Taylor Swift, which regardless makes me think of her anyway, so it’s almost just as bad.

Yes, Kanye was a total doucher for what he did at the VMAs last year.  Though I agree with him…definitely not the best way to approach it. But bygones are bygones and little Miss Swift needs to get the hell off of her high horse and get over it. Kanye apologized. Profusely, actually.

Don’t believe me?

“I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that’s so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won’t take it then I’ll perform it for her. She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her.”

 “There are people who don’t dislike me…they absolutely hate me! If you google ‘Asshole’ my face may very well pop up 2 pages into the search…People tweeted that they wish I was dead. They wanted me to die people. I carry that…I wear my scars.”

 “She’s just a lil girl with dreams like the rest of us. She deserves the apology more than anyone. I’m ready to get out of my own way. The ego is overdone, who am I to run on stage? I would never ever again in a million years do that. Sorry to let you down…TAYLOR LOVES RAP MUSIC…I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC…I’m sorry Taylor.”**
 He wanted to collaborate with you at this year’s VMAs. Instead you refused him, wrote a lame-ass song that almost identically resembles all your 547829 other songs (besides the fact that you’re not crying over some redneck this time) and sang it HORRIFICALLY. I wish I knew enough about html to make that word look like it was bleeding so it would be a better representation of the state my ears were in at that moment in time.

Seriously, though.
I could maybe overlook all of this if the bitch could sing like Carrie Underwood.

And maybe even then she could be saved if she was an awesome performer. Look at Britney Spears. Not the best vocalist, but that girl could put on a damn show. Swift sits there and pouts and strums her damn little acoustic guitar. Maybe if she tap-danced or blinked during the performance I’d be slightly more interested.

Nah….doubt it.

I will always, ALWAYS be Team Kanye. I don’t care if I meet the love of my life and the night before our wedding he proclaims that his heart is torn asunder by my hatred for Taylor Swift and even more by my appreciation for Kanye because he loves her and her music !!OH SO MUCH!! and he simply cannot be with me if I don’t feel the same way.

I will look him straight in the face and tell him that I would rather be attacked by this:

Of course, I don’t ever have to worry about this because I can say with almost 100% certainty that I will never, ever be with a man who likes Taylor Swift that much. Primarily because he's clearly not mentally stable, but also because drastically differing music taste is a big deal breaker with me. It's also a tough one, considering that I’m pretty much open to all kinds of music.

I realize a lot of people don’t appreciate Kanye’s style. Or his ego. And that’s fine. But you have to at least give him credit.  His rhymes are incredible, his mixes and beats are always good, always different, always catchy. He talks about more than 1-2 topics, which in comparison to Swift, makes him a goddamn genius. He does everything himself, from his album designs to mixing, lyrics and his style in general. He’s innovative and does what he does because he loves it. Not to get back at a middle school crush or let the world know how annoying he is. He’s a true artist. With talent. And I don’t know when in the celebrity timeline talent and individuality got brushed aside and replaced but it’s annoying. I’m sure there’s a lot of other awesome artists out there that will never reach fame because their spotlight is being hogged by carbon-copied idiots whose lives and art are run by their agents.


EDIT: Proofreading this (rare occurence!) made me realize I need a disclaimer:
If I were some random person reading this post, it would make me picture myself as one of those chubby, angsty chicks who thinks she’s edgy and is really just irritated and jealous because some pretty, skinny, blonde girl is famous.
Promise I’m not.
I also don’t hate men (that much) and I don’t bite off my partner’s head after intercourse (à la black widows)--two other common characteristics of that picture in my head.

I just really, really dislike Taylor Swift. And love Kanye. Which just intensifies my aversion to Swift.

**quotes from

Friday, October 22, 2010


Fall is by far my favorite season, EVER.
And to top it off, October is the quintessential fall month.
I like fall so much that if I were a breeding-season-type animal, I would rearrange my instinctual habits and breed in the fall. Because it makes me THAT happy. And no one wants to be preggers in the summer. Talk about uncomfortable.

I apologize for the messiness of this post in advance.


I love the smell of falling leaves and apple cider. I love sunny days with crisp breezes. I love wearing hoodies and boots and sunglasses and driving down the highway with the windows down and the heat slightly on.

I love Halloween and I love themed parties, even moreso if I get to dress up. I love horror/thriller movies and creepy things and ghost specials on TV.

I love going apple picking and going to the pumpkin patch and the orchards. I love the colors of fall, especially the changing colors in the leaves.

The best is when a single leaf is in the middle of changing and has different colors throughout it. Screw chlorophyll. Give me a colored tree over a green one anyday.

Fall is one of the few times I don’t think the majority of Pennsylvania is a complete dump.

I also love raking leaves and jumping into piles of them, unless there are spiders and/or snakes in said pile of leaves. In which case, whatever, I’ll scream and get over it quickly because it’s fall.

It’s also the most perfect temperature EVER. The only time you sweat is when it’s super sunny and you overcompensated for the breezes with a hoodie. You can still wear short sleeves and not want to murder the nearest furry animal just so you can use its hide for warmth.

Not to mention apples in general…even if you don’t like apples normally, I guarantee you an apple picked fresh from a local orchard will reform you. I could eat apples and apple-based foods every meal all season and be content with my life. And I’m not even that big of an apple fan in the first place. PLUUSS fall means caramel and candy apples are all over the place! And corn mazes. And hayrides. Ohh and flavored honey sticks!! Those always remind me of fall, I think because I always get them when I go to the pumpkin patch/orchard.

When you think about it, October is usually the time of the year where you’re still loving being back at school. Around November you start hating it again and it starts getting cold and you want to kill everyone again. Especially knowing that you have about 5-6 months until you can go outside without 5869 layers and getting the wind knocked out of you by the cold air.

And the best part of fall is going for trail rides through the woods. Especially bareback or racing through cornfields. That sounds ultra hick-ish of me, but seriously anyone else who rides horses knows how impeccable fall is for riding. Best weather, best views. You’re not freezing or sweating your ass off and the horses are in the middle of growing their winter coats so they’re nice and fuzzy but not shedding everywhere or have so much hair that you think you need a bigger girth size.
Ahhh now I just want to go run around in a pile of leaves and drink a cup of apple cider and run through the fields on my wild, furry steed.

That sounded weird.

Anyway, the point is, I like fall. A lot.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


One of the best things ever...

Dogs in hats. 

Seriously though. Having a bad day? Look at a dog in a hat. Instant (and at least temporary) mood lifter.

Take a look at this beaut I snapped when I was in Venice a few summers ago:

Like owner, like dog?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


For the majority of my commute today, I was graced with the presence of a car covered with PETA-esque and vegan bumper stickers yelling at me about how only Satan eats meat, etc etc. No no, "covered" is putting it lightly. And calling it a "car" is, well, debatable. Sooooo...rebuttal.

Topic of the day: Vegetarianism is idiotic.

Disclaimer: Right away, I apologize if you are a vegetarian; moreso if you are a vegan. Mostly because I feel bad for you, with your sub-par IQ and under-nourished body. I realize that I’m probably being insensitive (yes) and if I offend you (most likely), remember it’s just my opinion and if you don’t agree with me you can get caught up in your very own angry rant and then we’ll have something in common (sort of).

From my understanding, there are different kinds of vegetarianism:
Vegans: only eat plant products, such as fruits and veggies, legumes, grains, etc. Aka, deer.
Lacto-vegetarians: plant products and dairy-based foods like milk and cheese (mutant deer)
Ovo-vegetarians: these lucky bitches can also eat eggs.
Semi-vegetarians: (the cerebral cortex isn’t totally faulty in this individual, mostly because they're not real vegetarians) eat all of the above and also chicken/fish meats. Red meat is a big no-no.

Now I understand some people legitimately do not like the taste of meat and it grosses them out; others have certain dietary restrictions. These are the only acceptable forms of vegetarianism.

Vegetarian Excuse #1: “It’s a healthier lifestyle.”
No, no. You need protein, dumbass. Do you really want your sole sources of protein to be nuts and other weird things that don’t actually taste like anything?  Also, any diet that requires you to take multiple vitamin supplements so you don’t die or at least so you function normally is insane. Most of my argument here is geared toward the vegans. The other kinds of vegetarianism aren’t so severe, especially if you allow dairy and eggs. But really, just eat a balanced, normal diet. I don’t understand why a million different doctors and nutritionists haven’t gotten through to people yet. You’re not going to die or gain ten pounds immediately if you have steak and shrimp one night. I promise.

Just cutting out meat and eating a bunch of weird crap is going to do nothing but rob your wallet. But if you really are that serious about cutting out meat and being perfectly healthy, I’m assuming you also run 15 miles a day, never drink alcohol and have an aneurysm anytime you’re within 50 feet of a cigarette (lit or unlit). In which case, LIVE A LITTLE. I’d rather die 10 years early and have rocked the fuck out of my life than live until I’m 100 and have spent most of my time obsessing about my health. Happy mediums, people.

Vegetarian Excuse #2: “Animals are people, too!”
They’re actually not. But good try. See Excuse #4 for more details.

Vegetarian Excuse #3 (a more articulate version of #2): “Animals are treated cruelly and shouldn’t be used as food!”
Okay, well I was sort of listening until that second part. I’ll agree that a lot of places don’t treat their livestock humanely. That’s why there’s organic or cage-free options. You spent a little more, but the animals frolic around in fields before Doomsday and you have a free conscience. Look, everyone’s happy!!

#4 goes hand-in-hand with #3…

Vegetarian Excuse #4: “Animals are not food or science experiments!”
Okay, stop blubbering about animal rights and groping your 15 rescue bunnies for two seconds and listen to me.
Thank you. This is the excuse that gets me the most peeved. I understand that some weirdos get super-anal about their health. Fine. You do you, boo. But people who prance around crying about me eating a cow is a little ridiculous. I actually love animals and I agree that they shouldn’t be treated like shit their whole lives just to turn into food. However, I realize that there’s grey area. LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE, PEOPLE. And remember, animals are here to BE food. Basic biology, kids. It’s the circle of life…consider me your Mufasa.

Maybe in an idyllic society we’d all be vegetarians and no one would get sick and we could all dance around and hold hands and smile at each other and ride happy cows and hold bunnies. However, I did not take acid this morning and this is not the case. These people need a reality check. The tiny hippie inside of me would love for all animals to live happy, happy lives and never die but when it comes down to it, we need to balance that out for the greater good of people. You know, OUR species? Homo sapiens. Are you following? We’re technically animals.

Sorry, I realize I’m getting complicated here. Let me break it down.
People = animals
Animals ≠ people

We good? We have complex thought and emotions and have the ability to think of society as a whole beyond instincts. So let’s do that, please. Utilitarianism, anyone?

There’s a little organization called the IACUC. That’s the Institutional Animal Care and Use Committee.  These vagrants have a whole friggin’ book dedicated to making sure you give all the rats massages and send them to the day-spa throughout the course of the experiment. Not really, but trust me, they ensure that the animals are treated properly and if any euthanization is necessary, it’s in the most humane way possible. A lot of the time this includes flower-dances and music hour before gently putting the animal into a trance-turned-deep-sleep.

I know you just gripped your bunnies tighter because you know the animals still die sometimes.

Guess what? An incredible amount of research (particularly medical) and drugs that help millions upon millions of sick people everyday came out of this kind of research. Which, if you’re a perfectly healthy person, you may know nothing about.  But ultimately, these animals helped us. Think about your bunnies in little scrubs with teeny-tiny stethoscopes draped around their necks. Help any?

...not really?

Would you rather those experiments be done on humans?? If you even say yes, please end your life. Well, no. Contribute your body to science. Now. Not after you die. Go out right now and enter yourself into multiple drug trials. Preferably one where parts of the brain or organs need to be removed and weighed or biopsied. Also, extensive experimenting on humans would make taxes will go up a shitload and you probably won’t be able to go about your daily life during or even after the necessary trials. Not to mention fatalities. On humans. And children. Tell me, is that more suitable to your moral code??

Now wouldn’t that just be much easier, less invasive, less expensive and all-around more beneficial to society to do it on animals that don’t really exist for much purpose other than to be a part of the food chain?

That’s what I thought.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

here kitty, kitty

K, the last couple posts had a serious note. Not always my style.

So here's a present:

it's not goodbye, it's "see you later"

I put up a few posts from my last sad attempt at a blog because this one looked pathetic with next to no posts.

I still like this one even though I wrote it months ago. It captures my attitude right before graduating from college pretty well. I'll prep you right now; it's long.

So, my last post couldn’t have been anymore truthfully indicative of the future if it tried. This semester I managed to get drunk enough to do multiple embarassing things—which is something I usually pride myself on NOT doing (and which I will try to hold onto the last shred of my dignity by not mentioning it and further than that)—and definitely, definitely managed to freak out “oodles of times”.

Most people 2 weeks from graduation have some kind of plan…grad school in the fall, a job either directly after school or shortly thereafter, you know, normal after school plans. What am I doing, then? HA, funny you should ask. Because I have no idea.  For now, I managed to at least secure a room in a house by my school so I can take an extra class that I need for a grad program I may or may not want to apply to in the fall, which I will pay for by waitressing at a dive bar down the street.  Oh, that sounds exciting! What will you be doing in your free time, Erin?  Well, since you asked, I will be thanking the Lord I’m not living in the house of my recently-separated parents, awkwardly avoiding normal conversation with my father and at least a painful twenty minutes away from any of the people I actually care to spend time with.  Plus volunteering at various hospitals to get the hours I need for the aforementioned possible grad program.

As pessimistic as I do seem about all of this, I’m really not.  I know this stage of my life is only temporary. And as absolutely wonderful and miserable these past four years were, I’m excited to be on my own and actually start my life.  I’ve always been terribly  independent, and the opportunity to literally do whatever I want with my life is exhilarating and horrifying at the same time.  My only problem is that I want to do EVERYTHING. I haven’t really discussed this with anyone yet, but I would absolutely love to join the Peace Corps…I just don’t know if I can commit to two whole years in a completely different country…we all know how commitment makes me sweat.  The fact that the only commitment I’ve ever wanted to actually make blew up in my face rather rudely (and several times, I might add) doesn’t help either.  But, hey, maybe in a few years!  I can’t say anything for certain because I don’t know…and I love that feeling.

I know most people at this stage are freaking out about all the friends they made in college, if they’re going to stay in touch, what if we all move away, etc, etc.  To be honest, I don’t care.  And this is NOT because I don’t care about my college friends because I have made some of the best friends ever here—I would do next to anything for them and to be honest, I love a lot of them more than some of my extended family members.  I’m just not worried about losing touch.  Those who are meant to stay in my life will, and those who aren’t will fade away eventually.  A lot of people think this is sad but I think it’s realistic.  People are constantly changing and growing and “shit happens”.  Your friends change along with you but not necessarily WITH you, or at the same rate or magnitude as you. I’ve learned from experience that “no matter the miles, I’m back to you” (thank you, Sara Bareilles.  From your song lyrics, I am convinced we’ve lived the same life).  I have friends that I may not live close to or necessarily have talked to in a long time, however, I know they are only a phone call or a car/plane ride away.  Unfortunately (and fortunately!), you can’t hold onto the past.  The best things are always right around the corner.

My personality seminar has been focusing a lot on fate and decisions lately, and frankly it’s opened up my eyes a lot.  It also has helped me form some thoughts that may ultimately end up being my downfall.  I care about other people, but to some extent, I don’t really trust them.  You can manipulate others, but you can’t control them.  And there are some people out there that just don’t fit you.  Ever been in that relationship where “well, if (s)he would just realize [blah blah blah]” or “if (s)he could figure out {yadda yadda yadda]”?? Yeah, we all have.  Newsflash, honey bunches of oats….you’re going after the wrong person for you. At least, for the time being.  I have full belief that certain people grow into each other, and that people meet the right person at the wrong time.  But here’s the deal..sulking about it is just going to bring you down.  Yeah, it sucks. Trust me, been there, done that, still living in that neighborhood.  BUT, I think the difference here is that I don’t let it run my life anymore.  The biology student inside me is cringing, but I think everything happens for a reason.  Buuuut I think that reason is that we have to live and deal with “everything” that happens.  It makes us feel better to say “it happens for a reason”.  When you think about it, well, what else could it have happened?  You only get one life, which is a serious of multifaceted and complex cause-and-effect reactions.  Everything that happens to you somehow plays a role in forming the person you are, your attitude and therefore your actions.

YOU control your attitude about life.  As humans, we are conformed to some extent by our culture and society but individual differences can never be fully taken away.  How mundane and uneventful would the world be if everyone was similar? Experience is everything, even if those experiences are bad ones.  The world isn’t full of happy things or perfect people.  And while the bad times suck, if we didn’t have them, how would we know how the great the good ones are? A person with no experiences or emotions, in my opinion, isn’t really a person.
“I’m riding the highs and diggin’ the lows, cuz at least I feel alive”
       I’m Feelin’ You—Santana ft. the Wreckers
I’d rather feel alive, wouldn’t you?

Wow, it sounds like apparently that last line was supposed to be revolutionary. Dramatic, I warned you.

Oedipus? Electra? Whatever.

“We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.”                 
       —Sigmund Freud
 This is absolutely one of my favorite quotes.  Mostly because it’s true.  I know a lot of people automatically see something from Freud and roll their eyes and think “ooh, what a quack!” Sure, he was a little self-righteous and definitely had some psychological issues…but name someone, especially someone famous, who isn’t a little out of the ordinary. Ultimately, pioneers in any field are ridiculed and criticized, regardless of how valid their ideas prove to be later on. Why do you think the majority of society consists of sheep, not shepherds?  Sorry for the lame metaphor.  What I mean is, it’s easier to be a follower than a leader and not everyone has what it takes to be a leader.

Now I’m not in any way condoning Freudian thought or defending him as a human being; this man was indubitably arrogant (c’mon, he made his “followers” kiss his ring and disowned some of his students that questioned his theories) and there were numerous ethical and protocol issues with the way he ran his case studies and wrote his manuscripts.  Well, for one point in his defense, no one had any idea about the brain or how it works at this point and the ideas of conscious, subconscious and unconscious didn’t even exist until he came along.And while psychoanalysis can get a little hokey (okay….really hokey), if you take out with mommy-obsessed boys, penis-envying girls and tone down the amplitude of the extremes he takes everything to, Freud has some damn good points.  The man was a medical doctor, after all. He just got a little excited. Sexually excited, perhaps he would say.

But honestly, sexuality really does surround human existence and you can argue all you want that it’s not important, it’s not an “instinct” or “drive” and can be controlled—hell, you can even argue that drives don’t exist at all.  But good luck coming up with evidence and good luck convincing me and everyone else that has studied/is studying this stuff in detail.

Basically, my points are these: this quote is awesome. Freud was a crazy pioneer and I love him. My lunch break is nearly over because I got sidetracked—as usual.  Make of this quote what you will. My train of thought is that everybody overuses the word “love”. When you truly love someone else, you change. Not FOR them, but BECAUSE of them. And it’s not something you can control, or something you should be considered weak for. It can, however, render you defenseless against certain things, especially and mostly the other person.  No matter how well you know someone, you can never with total accuracy predict his or her actions—hell, you can’t even predict you own actions half the time. If you’re doubting me, think about how different you are from a few years ago. Think about how many times you’ve thought or said “I never thought I’d be ___” or “I can’t believe I ____”. People change, learn, grow. It’s a part of life and of human nature (yeah, there’s that phrase again). No matter how you look at it—from a psychological, philosophical or biological point of view—it’s a natural cycle. If you’re staying stagnant, there’s some kind of issue. I work in a hospital…if you need someone’s number..or, I don’t know… new organ or complex thought, lemme know. Help me help you.

Back to the point, it just made me think about how even the most selfish hard-ass can end up being in love or putting his life on the line for a child. It can suck, but EVERYONE has a weak spot (well, unless you’re a sociopath…); maybe you’re just not the one who can see it. And maybe someone else can.

Thanks, Freud. LYLAS.

Perhaps a formal introduction is necessary...

I chose this title because it’s generic. I have no specific intentions for this blog, so it’s also appropriate.

It’s named after an Off-Broadway show, entitled [title of show] which is—in short—“a musical about two guys writing a musical about two guys writing a musical"…basically it’s about different dynamics of relationships and following your passions. I dig it; mostly because I think your relationships with other people and what you're passionate about define you more than anything else.

I guess if you really wanna read about it, Wikipedia that shit.