Wednesday, March 2, 2011

title of post.

EDIT 4/4/11:
Can we please just focus on the fact that not only did I not have enough attention to finish the last damn sentence of the post, it took me a whole month to realize it.
Remind me to never get into a career path that includes blogging. I will clearly struggle to succeed. I'm also keeping the entry as-is, perhaps to remind myself that it takes a mere minute to read through a damn paragraph and check for any commonplace, abhorrent grammatical errors make sure I actually finish a thought for once (rare).

So. I (clearly) have not been blogging as I had originally planned.

I find that, in general, this happens a lot:


" " (approximately a week later): Eh.


" " (next day): *yawn*

It's safe to say I have the attention span of a gnat. Not to mention that this blog had literally no purpose when it started except to allow myself and a few friends to be entertained by my random rants in the future. If you're one of those creepers and anonymously-stalks (c'mon everyone has done it at one point or another)...this blog, thanks! I'm glad you think I'm interesting. Sorry to disappoint lately. I promise I'll come up with something soon? I do feel like I'm past-due for an idea that will be tangible enough for me to maintain enough attention to write about it.

To be honest, at this point the only real reason I'm keeping it is to keep my own stalking blog-reading organized (AHEM. Publicly, I might add--I own up to and follow all the blogs I creep on. Not to point fingers or anything...) and becaus

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Long. Movies. Miscellaneous pictures for added entertainment.

This entry, like most of them, has a disclaimer:
I briefly started to write this, then took Nyquil. Sooo if it gets a little bad.

I’ve been in a movie mood lately, so I thought I’d make lists of my favorite movies, ones I want to see, ones I want to reanalyze, etc, cuz who doesn’t love movies?? Not really to critique or give my expert opinion about, rather just my general opinion/experience with the movie(s). At first I figured I’d do a top 5 for each category, but the idea of constraints and limitations make me itchy. So....voilá!

I also realize that this is essentially a long blog of me rambling about movies. So, as presents, I have included random pictures once you finish a leg of the entry. Merry Belated Generic and Culturally-Diverse Holiday Season.

Let me set one thing straight; these are not my five top movies that I think are the best filmed, best acted, best plotline, blah blah blah. Literally the only element that these movies have in common is that I can (and do) watch them over and over again.

A Clockwork Orange
If you haven’t seen this movie, you suck you need to. Well, unless you’d be upset by an all-too-possible dystopia and a frighteningly disturbed main character. I not only love this movie because it’s, well, fucked up, but because of the symbolism and the overall theme of the freedom of choice/good and evil/being human. So of course, this twisted psychological movie is like a dream come true for me—Ludovico’s technique reminds me of something straight-out of Walden’s deranged wet dream.
It’s based on the book by Anthony Burgess (which I still need to read, and the British version at that—it has an extra chapter at the end that was left out of the American version and Kubrick’s film) and the title/meaning behind it should be enough to capture anyone’s interest:
It’s meant to describe something that is living (human) but is formed and manipulated to operate in a specific way (by society, conditioning, etc). I realize this kind of title doesn’t always make everyone super-excited, but if I hadn’t already seen the movie multiple times, that simple description right there would probably make me run out the door to rent it.
Also, if you’re the kind of person that likes to watch movies to simply watch them, and nothing more, you won’t like this. And—you’re boring.

I will never, ever stop laughing at this movie. A lot of people probably find Molly Shannon obnoxious, but I just think she’s hilarious. Only she can pull off what she does. I think if anyone else had come up with this movie/played Mary Katherine Gallagher, it definitely would not have worked out.

Cruel Intentions
I can’t even describe this movie in less than a couple paragraphs or without giving the whole plotline away. If you haven’t seen it already, just watch it. It kind of reminds me of a soap opera, but not. That didn’t even make sense. Just watch the damn movie. It’s one that if someone tells me they haven’t seen it, I force them to watch it. No one’s complained yet.

James Cameron and James Horner. Ballin film, ballin score. Amazing movie. I actually can’t name one negative thing about this movie. Except maybe that we got to see Kate Winslet naked, but not Leonardo DiCaprio. Who, by the way, was probably the first man I had sexual feelings for…creepy, right? At the time Titanic came out, I was around 9 or 10 and I don’t think I had a full grasp on what exactly sex was or what it entailed, but I knew I wanted to do that with Leo. I’d say that I still stand by that...especially if he was the Leo of Titanic.

Totally Awesome
This has a kind of Superstar-esque humor. Well, go figure; it’s a bunch of SNL former cast members + some no-names (like Superstar). They combine a slew of 80’s movies—Footloose, Karate Kid, The Breakfast Club, Teen Wolf, Dirty Dancing, Soul Man—and make fun of them. It’s actually pretty damn creative. And, of course, hilarious.

..okay, make it top 6.

Girl, Interrupted
If you know me, you know that one thing that fascinates me to no end is mental illness, specifically, personality and mood disorders. This movie is phenomenal—spectacularly-acted and not to mention very realistic. Of course, that could be because it’s based on a true story….

Congratulations! You have complete Phase 1.

awwww, how cute!!

Movies I have only seen once but I NEED to see again
Fish Tank
 I. Love. This. Movie. A British film about, well, a fucked-up teenager named Mia. She’s essentially the English version of white trash, but you end up liking her anyway, despite all the weird shit she does. The thing I loved the most about this movie was how real it was...there were times when I expected a clichéd plot point to come into play, but to my delight, it didn’t. This seriously could have been some girl’s life, had an invisible and highly-trained cameraman followed her around for a few weeks. It’s kind of hard to find in the US, so I ended up downloading a version that came with Spanish subtitles…but to be honest, English subtitles would probably have been preferable. A couple of the characters, Mia especially, have a very thick “ghetto” English accent (I think the particular dialect is Cockney? I could be wrong. Someone correct me) and while I usually have no problem deciphering accents, when she got mad and/or talked fast, there were a few phrases that were totally lost on me. And I just want to stress again that I LOVED this movie because of how realistic it was.

Winter’s Bone
 I have a serious girl-boner for well-directed, low-budget movies with lesser-known actors and awesome plotlines. This one is totally at the top of that list--I was even more pleased when I heard there was a buzz about it being nominated for Best Picture.
Black Swan
I will be buying this immediately when it comes out on DVD and Blu-ray. It has art, great music, expressive cinematography, psychotic breaks, sexuality, great acting and Natalie Portman all in one movie. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU WANT???

 I had a bunch of people tell me that this movie was hard to follow. I thought the writer/director did a great job of explaining everything.
And I love that the movie’s open-ended; you don't know whether or not Cobb's totem keeps spinning or if it stops (this is going to make absolutely no sense if you haven't seen the movie yet, so if you haven't skip to the next section). Originally, I interpreted that the ending is reality, not a dream because Cobb’s totem wobbled. In a dream, that wouldn’t happen...or so we think. I've heard that other people have different theories because blah and blah and blah. I don't want to look them up or investigate them further simply because I want to rewatch it and analyze the shit out of it myself. Now I just need to find someone who wants to do the same thing and will argue over theories with me. Any takers? Anyone? Fine.

om nom nom

Movies I NEED to see
Requiem for a Dream
The Soloist
The Machinist
I don't feel like explaining any of these. Mostly because (SPOILER) I haven't seen them yet.

Movies I could forget ever happened and be fine with my life
I usually don’t bother with movies that I know I’ll hate, but every once in awhile one sneaks in there….
The Ring
This movie makes me shit my pants. I have no idea why. I can usually watch scary movies without jumping out of my seat like an epileptic frog. This one made me want to die. I actually liked it (minus the wanting-to-die part) and I have to admit I’ve seen it about 5 times….but I would have been better off never seeing it.

From Justin to Kelly
I distinctly remember going to see this on my birthday with my then-boyfriend. He turned out gay. SHOCKER. I liked the movie at the time. WTF. I still love cheesy musical movies, and this one is just plain horrible. HORRIBLE.

Death Tunnel
I got roped into watching this one on the Syfy channel with my brother…while at the beginning it looked like it had potential and the plot still kind of does, after the first 15 minutes you realize it’s probably the worst film you will ever see. There are cast members named “Death in Sanatorium” and “Lizzie the Ghost Girl”….REALLY?! It also starts off with a bunch of slutty, helpless college girls who end up getting killed off and are apparently filled with an exotic kind of blood that looks suspiciously like something you'd put on a hamburger. And I still watched the whole thing. For shame.


...why are my pictures always of animals?!?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

Team Kanye

Thesis: Taylor Swift makes my ears bleed.

This isn’t completely random, as the World Wide Web and various (annoying) Target commercials have informed me that her new album comes out today (gag). Not to mention that my office at work is adjacent to the janitor’s closet and everytime it’s opened, some country music station is blasting—which is almost always playing Taylor Swift. Or something that sounds like Taylor Swift, which regardless makes me think of her anyway, so it’s almost just as bad.

Yes, Kanye was a total doucher for what he did at the VMAs last year.  Though I agree with him…definitely not the best way to approach it. But bygones are bygones and little Miss Swift needs to get the hell off of her high horse and get over it. Kanye apologized. Profusely, actually.

Don’t believe me?

“I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that’s so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won’t take it then I’ll perform it for her. She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her.”

 “There are people who don’t dislike me…they absolutely hate me! If you google ‘Asshole’ my face may very well pop up 2 pages into the search…People tweeted that they wish I was dead. They wanted me to die people. I carry that…I wear my scars.”

 “She’s just a lil girl with dreams like the rest of us. She deserves the apology more than anyone. I’m ready to get out of my own way. The ego is overdone, who am I to run on stage? I would never ever again in a million years do that. Sorry to let you down…TAYLOR LOVES RAP MUSIC…I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC…I’m sorry Taylor.”**
 He wanted to collaborate with you at this year’s VMAs. Instead you refused him, wrote a lame-ass song that almost identically resembles all your 547829 other songs (besides the fact that you’re not crying over some redneck this time) and sang it HORRIFICALLY. I wish I knew enough about html to make that word look like it was bleeding so it would be a better representation of the state my ears were in at that moment in time.

Seriously, though.
I could maybe overlook all of this if the bitch could sing like Carrie Underwood.

And maybe even then she could be saved if she was an awesome performer. Look at Britney Spears. Not the best vocalist, but that girl could put on a damn show. Swift sits there and pouts and strums her damn little acoustic guitar. Maybe if she tap-danced or blinked during the performance I’d be slightly more interested.

Nah….doubt it.

I will always, ALWAYS be Team Kanye. I don’t care if I meet the love of my life and the night before our wedding he proclaims that his heart is torn asunder by my hatred for Taylor Swift and even more by my appreciation for Kanye because he loves her and her music !!OH SO MUCH!! and he simply cannot be with me if I don’t feel the same way.

I will look him straight in the face and tell him that I would rather be attacked by this:

Of course, I don’t ever have to worry about this because I can say with almost 100% certainty that I will never, ever be with a man who likes Taylor Swift that much. Primarily because he's clearly not mentally stable, but also because drastically differing music taste is a big deal breaker with me. It's also a tough one, considering that I’m pretty much open to all kinds of music.

I realize a lot of people don’t appreciate Kanye’s style. Or his ego. And that’s fine. But you have to at least give him credit.  His rhymes are incredible, his mixes and beats are always good, always different, always catchy. He talks about more than 1-2 topics, which in comparison to Swift, makes him a goddamn genius. He does everything himself, from his album designs to mixing, lyrics and his style in general. He’s innovative and does what he does because he loves it. Not to get back at a middle school crush or let the world know how annoying he is. He’s a true artist. With talent. And I don’t know when in the celebrity timeline talent and individuality got brushed aside and replaced but it’s annoying. I’m sure there’s a lot of other awesome artists out there that will never reach fame because their spotlight is being hogged by carbon-copied idiots whose lives and art are run by their agents.


EDIT: Proofreading this (rare occurence!) made me realize I need a disclaimer:
If I were some random person reading this post, it would make me picture myself as one of those chubby, angsty chicks who thinks she’s edgy and is really just irritated and jealous because some pretty, skinny, blonde girl is famous.
Promise I’m not.
I also don’t hate men (that much) and I don’t bite off my partner’s head after intercourse (à la black widows)--two other common characteristics of that picture in my head.

I just really, really dislike Taylor Swift. And love Kanye. Which just intensifies my aversion to Swift.

**quotes from

Friday, October 22, 2010


Fall is by far my favorite season, EVER.
And to top it off, October is the quintessential fall month.
I like fall so much that if I were a breeding-season-type animal, I would rearrange my instinctual habits and breed in the fall. Because it makes me THAT happy. And no one wants to be preggers in the summer. Talk about uncomfortable.

I apologize for the messiness of this post in advance.


I love the smell of falling leaves and apple cider. I love sunny days with crisp breezes. I love wearing hoodies and boots and sunglasses and driving down the highway with the windows down and the heat slightly on.

I love Halloween and I love themed parties, even moreso if I get to dress up. I love horror/thriller movies and creepy things and ghost specials on TV.

I love going apple picking and going to the pumpkin patch and the orchards. I love the colors of fall, especially the changing colors in the leaves.

The best is when a single leaf is in the middle of changing and has different colors throughout it. Screw chlorophyll. Give me a colored tree over a green one anyday.

Fall is one of the few times I don’t think the majority of Pennsylvania is a complete dump.

I also love raking leaves and jumping into piles of them, unless there are spiders and/or snakes in said pile of leaves. In which case, whatever, I’ll scream and get over it quickly because it’s fall.

It’s also the most perfect temperature EVER. The only time you sweat is when it’s super sunny and you overcompensated for the breezes with a hoodie. You can still wear short sleeves and not want to murder the nearest furry animal just so you can use its hide for warmth.

Not to mention apples in general…even if you don’t like apples normally, I guarantee you an apple picked fresh from a local orchard will reform you. I could eat apples and apple-based foods every meal all season and be content with my life. And I’m not even that big of an apple fan in the first place. PLUUSS fall means caramel and candy apples are all over the place! And corn mazes. And hayrides. Ohh and flavored honey sticks!! Those always remind me of fall, I think because I always get them when I go to the pumpkin patch/orchard.

When you think about it, October is usually the time of the year where you’re still loving being back at school. Around November you start hating it again and it starts getting cold and you want to kill everyone again. Especially knowing that you have about 5-6 months until you can go outside without 5869 layers and getting the wind knocked out of you by the cold air.

And the best part of fall is going for trail rides through the woods. Especially bareback or racing through cornfields. That sounds ultra hick-ish of me, but seriously anyone else who rides horses knows how impeccable fall is for riding. Best weather, best views. You’re not freezing or sweating your ass off and the horses are in the middle of growing their winter coats so they’re nice and fuzzy but not shedding everywhere or have so much hair that you think you need a bigger girth size.
Ahhh now I just want to go run around in a pile of leaves and drink a cup of apple cider and run through the fields on my wild, furry steed.

That sounded weird.

Anyway, the point is, I like fall. A lot.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


One of the best things ever...

Dogs in hats. 

Seriously though. Having a bad day? Look at a dog in a hat. Instant (and at least temporary) mood lifter.

Take a look at this beaut I snapped when I was in Venice a few summers ago:

Like owner, like dog?